Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Self Branding

I remember my days in MBA, when I use to have this professor who is a namesake of my father. He would always say, you need to brand yourself in class. Who do you want to be from the eyes of your discriminating classmates? At the end of the day, you will be graded by professors not just for your performance in class, but also on how they see you.

Are we really conscious in creating a brand of who we are or who we want to be? Do we actually set out the things that we do everyday with conscious intention to project an image, whatever that is?







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Sunday, January 20, 2008

Of Demented Landlord and Greedy Agents

In less than 24 hours, I have lost $900 to unscrupulous real estate agents due to a demented landlord who led me to a useless exercise of looking for a flat to rent for days, only to agree later that I can stay on for another year!

If you have useless time, read on...

In the first week of January, my demented landlord had advised me that upon expiry of my lease, he will now be charging a $1.8K rental fee, $400 more than my current rate. After a couple of days of hopeless appeal for a lower rental, I finally succumbed to a $1.8K offer. To my surprise, which blew my brains to bits, he said he wanted $2K now as the market rates have gone up. "I am even giving you $400 discount at that rate because a 5 room flat in your area is now renting at $2.4K.", he said is in a monotonous and ruthless tone.

Holly Molly! I could almost see myself going in for a combat Aikido Shihu Nage and pinning my landlord, whom I have never seen except hear his voice, with a San Kyo arm lock. My knees almost gave in.

So what my wife and I did in the ensuing week was to scour the entire Singapore for every flat available for lease and evaluate our options. We finally found one unit almost identical to ours for $1.8K monthly rent and available for 2 year lease, which we want. So we immediately engaged a seemingly (always just seemingly--when will i ever learn!) nice female real agent with a tag-along body-of-a-guard-companion who speaks more like an agent than she does.

The pair asked me to pay "one month advance rental" and "half of the 1.8K" for agent's fee. I was hesitant to sign the LOI to the owner because my wife and I wanted to take a look at the flat again the following day. When we looked at the flat, it was 7pm on a Sunday and was quite unusually dark because of the heavy rains. So we really did not get to take a good look at the place. I said, to show good faith, I can give the $2.7K to the pair but we would like to have the LOI signed with finality once we get to see it again the following day.


The body of a guard agent expectedly insisted. "No, no. Sign it now because nothing's gonna change, right? Everything will be all right and taken care of." So I muttered to myself, "What the hell, if we are really to leave this house, it should not matter what ever the little imperfections of the new house. Even if I will be paying rentals for two houses in February, it is just the way it goes here in Singapore. Otherwise, my kids my find themselves homeless next month." The lease on my flat expires in end February, while the new place is required to be rented start of Feb. With all these in mind, I gave the $1.8K in cash and electronically transferred the "$900 agent's fee and signed the LOI, which did not even bear the name of the owner yet. (Such a dumb ass I am when it comes to things like these. I am ashamed I have dealt with far more complicated transactions and contracts than these in my life as a banker, but I am almost always a careless neophyte when it comes to personal transactions such as these.)

I signed the LOI then. My wife and I assured ourselves, that the new place is for the best, as we have no choice, except if we want to pay the $2K per month rate. Before I sleep, I sent a message to my demented landlord to say that I cannot afford his $2K rate and am willing to leave end of January if he gives me back my deposit and not let me pay the Feb rent.

A day after and upon landing in Thailand, I received a roaming call from my demented landlord. He said, "How much are you willing to pay ha?" I told him, "You already asked me that, and I told you $1.8K. You said ‘CANNOT’." My stomach churned upon his reply, "OK. You can take it for $1.8K. You are a good tenant, paying on time and loyal." What the hell can I say, except to say, "Thank you." This was 1030ish in the morning Sg time.

Now my thoughts we rushing to how I can recover the money from the seemingly nice agent and body-of-a-guard-companion, (who by the way claimed to be Christian upon seeing a statue of Christ in my flat). So I sent an SMS message that I am backing out of the LOI and request my money back. A couple of seconds after, the body-of-a-guard-companion of the agent, called.

"Norman, I cannot give you back the money because we have given it to the owner already. Under the law even if if its one hour or days, once you sign a contract its consummated. Sorry. But we can give up the agent's fee that you advance ($900) as a consideration."

I immediately had an Amygdala hijack, and pointed out that there was no contract at all as the document i signed was a mere LOI and the money I gave was, as he said, "advance rental", and without any contract there is no "advance rental." I told him it was not even 24 hours yet. The next 10 minutes of roaming call became a heated exchange with me realizing that the greedy body-of-a-guard-companion only wanted to take a buck from me. He was "willing to give up the $900 agent's fee" but had his eyes on the "$1.8K" which I had suspected he and his female agent friend have not even given to the owner yet.

So I sent the greedy of a body-of-a-guard-companion of my agent a message. “Hey body-of-a-guard-companion, sorry my attitude. I was just shocked with what you said are the possibilities (of my money). I am willing to compensate you and female agent for your trouble but do consider how much we need that money as a family.”


Well it did the trick. Before the day ended, they returned the $1.8K “advance rental” but not the “$900” agent’s fee, which in the morning conversation, Mr. body-of-a-guard-companion was all too willing to give up.


I would like to believe that I appealed to the pair’s conscience, but I knew that they were also aware that they did not have any legitimate hold on that money. So i surmised they really wanted to earn a buck off a careless and gullible customer like me.


In less than 24 hours, I have lost $900 to unscrupulous agents due to a demented landlord who led me to a useless exercise of looking for a flat to rent for days, only
to agree later that I can stay on for another year in his flat.

Demented!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Demented Thoughts in 2008

...will i ever get to do my naughtiest ever thoughts whenever inside an elevator.

Everytime I am inside a crowded elevator, I have this sick and funny thought of making a loud and prolonged farting. I wonder how people will react? Of course, I will pretend to say 'i am sorry' and make a humbling excuse of the act being completely uncontrollable.

Will people be civil enough to just cover their noses or react violently by mauling my ass till kingdom come for inflicting them with an inescapable hell.

Or whenever I am alone in an elevator, I have often thought of taking a sticky and slimy boogger (from my nose of course!) and finger-sling shotting it towards the CCTV camera while gesturing my regards. Will someone do anything? Will a security guard be actually waiting for me once I reach the ground floor?

Does anyone monitor these CCTVs daily as in the movies? Or it is just automatically stored in some terrabyte-capacity hard drive to be accessed only upon a security-breached?

Some sick thoughts to start the year, eh? Happy New Year!