Nostalgia

Today my kids are going for a month-long vacation in Manila. As i looked at my children in the morning, thoughts of my bachelor days came rushing back and a particular question. Would i have my life any other way?

Would i still be single today if i had not gotten married my wife at the age of 25? Or if i had married later, would have i ended marrying my wife still? Would these wonderful kids be the kids that I would have, had destiny quite made a different turn?

All i can do is smile. In my head, I could think all i want and believe in any possibilities, but i should be thankful for having been gifted with my beautiful kids. Yes, they have grown naughty and fastidious, but they remained consistently thoughtful and loving to me and my wife all these years.

I feel a fleeting emotion of loneliness and nostalgia being separated with them once again for longer than a week. And it is a different feeling when they are the ones leaving you and not the other way around. Leaving them on business trips to different countries is quite a weekly happening for me, but those trips never really produce the same intensity of longing to be with them physically always.



Just like any December that passed in the past few years, this will be another one where i will have to be away from my kids for more than 3 weeks.

On the other hand, it also becomes a time when I am reminded what it feels like if they are not in my life and what it feels like without any purpose.

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Meantime, let me enjoy a family favorite pasttime - dancing on the bed to the tune of Mama Mia's 'Dancing Queen' with my kids - before they fly off to Manila later.

The Love and Sufferings of Parents

Parents in general will do anything for their children.

They will sacrifice their own wealth, health, and even dignity to protect and save the lives of their beloved children.

It is nature. It is human.

Parents cry the most when they lose their children. They feel the most pain, to experience the beginning and end of their own flesh.

When we were young and clueless about life, we take for granted everything that our parents do for us. We don't appreciate what our parents do for us, instead we expect them to do things for us.

When we become teenagers, we get worse. Not only that we do not appreciate our parents, instead we rebel and contradict everything that they stand for.

Only when we become adults and oftentimes only upon becoming parents ourselves we realize the extent of the complex choices that our parents have made to nurture us safely and lovingly, that we begin to feel gratitude to our parents and appreciate the immensity of their capacity for love.

I would like to share a very special song that speaks of the true love of a parent to his child and dedicate this to my own parents, who have since lost 2 of their 7 children.

Entitled 'Anak' (literally means child), this classic Filipino song was sung by a famous Filipino folk singer named Freddie Aguilar. 'Anak' has been a worldwide hit since the late 1970s, having been released in 56 countries and translated in more than 26 different foreign languages. It has sold over 30 million copies to date.

Freddie Aguilar via last.fm

Anak ( Child )
by: Freddie Aguilar
(English version)

When you were born into this world
Your mom and dad saw a dream fulfilled
Dream come true
The answer to their prayers

You were to them a special child
Gave 'em joy every time you smiled
Each time you cried
They're at your side to care

Child, you don't know
You'll never know how far they'd go
To give you all their love can give
To see you through and God it's true
They'd die for you, if they must, to see you here

How many seasons came and went
So many years have now been spent
For time ran fast
And now at last you're strong

Now what has gotten over you
You seem to hate your parents too
Do speak out your mind
Why do you find them wrong

Child you don't know
You'll never know how far they'd go
To give you all their love can give
To see you through and God it's true
They'd die for you, if they must, to see you near

And now your path has gone astray
Child you ain't sure what to do or say
You're so alone
No friends are on your side

And child you now break down in tears
Let them drive away your fears
Where must you go
Their arms stay open wide

Child you don't know
You'll never know how far they'd go
To give you all their love can give
To see you through
And God it's true
They'd die for you, if they must, to see you here

Child you don't know
You'll never know how far they'd go
To give you all their love can give
To see you through and God it's true
They'd die for you, if they must, to see you here


Filipino Version
Noong isilang ka sa mundong ito,
Laking tuwa ng magulang mo.
At ang kamay nila
ang iyong ilaw.

At ang nanay at tatay mo,
'Di malaman ang gagawin.
Minamasdan pati pagtulog mo.

Sa gabi napupuyat ang iyong nanay
Sa pagtimpla ng gatas mo.
At sa umaga nama'y kalong
Ka ng iyong amang tuwang-tuwa sa iyo.

Ngayon nga'y malaki ka na,
Nais mo'y maging malaya.
'Di man sila payag,
Walang magagawa.

Ikaw nga'y biglang nagbago,
Naging matigas ang iyong ulo.
At ang payo nila'y,
Sinuway mo.

Hindi mo man lang inisip
Na ang kanilang ginagawa'y para sa iyo.
Pagka't ang nais mo masunod ang layaw mo,
'Di mo sila pinapansin.

Nagdaan pa ang mga araw
At ang landas mo'y naligaw
Ikaw ay nalulon
sa masamang bisyo.

At ang una mong nilapitan
Ang iyong inang lumuluha.
At ang tanong,
"Anak, ba't ka nagkaganyan?"

At ang iyong mga mata'y biglang lumuha
Ng 'di mo napapansin
Pagsisisi ang sa isip mo,
Nalaman mong ika'y nagkamali.

My Long Life Pedigree

I have always believed that I have tenaciously healthy and fortified genes given my pedigree, of longest living grandparents and parents as well. Not even the most unhealthy of vices - smoking and drinking - can prevent them from reaching beyond the human average life expectancy of 70 years for most Filipinos.

My dad and mom are well and alive and most healthy at 79 and 73 years of ages, respectively. My mom's eldest brother is in his mid-80s, alive and drinking liquor (Whisky at that) everyday in the last 50 years.

My grandparents from both side died in their mid-80s, mid-90s, and my most beloved grandmother from my mother side, died at 99 years of age, she did so without turning senile.

I thought that in my generation in the family, average life span will be in the same range. Maybe a few years shaved off 70 years, i generally expect everyone to last that long sans any accident or evil doing that can snuff out life in an instant.

With the exception of my eldest brother, who was a banker and murdered at 48 years old in a gruesome bank heist last year, I still believed that my remaining 5 siblings are still far away from their twilight years, being in their mid-to-late 40s, and regardless of any unhealthy vices.

But I was proven wrong, maybe my generation's genes are not as tenacious and fortified as I thought. My brother Nelson had heart attack 2 days back, his 3rd and last. He died in a few hours, succumbing to cardiac arrest.

He was not in his best physical condition but my family and I never knew of any life-threatening condition that he experiences in the last few years. I may be mistaken as he had a few vices, he drinks occasionally and well, smokes like hell, probably a pack a day minimum. I will probably never know because like any of the men in my family, he has the same level of hardheadedness and phobia when it comes to seeking any medical treatment, preventive nor curative.

In retrospect, I hope now that I did the right decision to quit smoking sooner than i actually intended. With my brother's demise, I have come to realize that maybe its not just superior genes that are required to replicate the life expectancy of my pedigree.

I may never probably be able to replicate the right combination of the kind of diet, exercise regimen, the level of work stress, and most importantly, the level of environmental externalities that enabled a long life span for my elders.


But may be I can lessen the bad externalities and hope that I will last beyond 47 years old. I hope I still have time to correct my diet and mitigate the ill effects of 21 years of smoking.

Meanwhile, let me bury my brother and thank him for reminding me that life is short and indeed, health is wealth.

To my brother Nelson, may you rest in the Lord's peace.

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Conversations...

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May the Almighty be kind and merciful to my fellow countrymen currently languishing in pain and homelessness due to Ondoy's flash floods that drenched Manila last September 26.


...on Corporate Discontent

I am having this conversation with a colleague of mine about the recent appointments that have happened at my firm, in relation to a recent take over by another firm. For lack of anything better to do, we denigrated ourselves by cribbing about life in general, but more in particular about the rank-restructuring that have happened recently in relation to the take over.

The crux of the discussion is why a colleague is being given a higher band when he is junior in all aspects of years of experience and even in tenure in our company relative to others. Whose decision was it and why are we not given the same...blah, blah....

It is a classic case of corporate discontent, one that I have seen, and had my share of being on the side of the advantaged as well as being disadvantaged, in my 13 years of working.

Yes, disparities in the corporate are both driven by supposedly objective and HR-vetted criteria and the subjectivity of the people who are influencers and decision-makers on who gets promoted and who does not. The latter being always suspected (but never proven) as the driver of discontent breeding malcontents.

It is not to say, having experienced it before, that the disparities are easy for me to swallow nor the explanation of people who may have a hand in the decision. It is always difficult. But probably age and experience have taught me more creative (and not necessarily better, and some people may say lame or sourgraping) ways to transcend these disparities.

1. You can ignore these things and move on with life with a little bit of bitterness and hope you will forget it.

2. You fight for your own recognition, and make a case for your own, which is oftentimes a double-bladed sword.

3. You shift your mindset and stop benchmarking yourself with others and compete only with yourself and move on, either within the same firm or outside.

I tried the first 2 in my first 8 years of working, with satisfactory career results but oftentimes traumatic emotional consequences. In the last few years, I have taught myself to use only the approach #3.

It is more practical and pragmatic with my own understanding of my capabilities and aligns well with my personal life values.

I guess a better and a more eloquent way of explaining the mindset in approach #3 was well put by my colleague, and I quote (in verbatim sans the specific references)...



"Life has a path. I have a destiny. A few less dollars or more, won't count...I have to make my life worth it beyond any material...how I value family, relationships, friends, live a balanced existence, no foes, no jealousy. There is more to life than XXX or XXXXXXX or XXXXX or Band X. I have many years to go and this will be some insignificant speck in the scheme of things. Who cares? I must make an honest life out of an honest living."

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65 days down, 145 days to go

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When i started my quest to quit smoking in mid-July, the first 30 days were quite exciting. Then, I had 3 sticks a day quota and I can mingle pretty much with my smoker colleagues like i usually did.

On the second month, the excitement from my side as well as from my colleagues, who probably suspected i would be succumbing to temptation soon, died down. Actually, the excitement was turning into apprehension from my side as the Zero Stick a day timeline approaches. Those times, i will always thought while savoring my single stick with a colleague, that the true suffering will kick in when i no longer have the option to any cigarette at all.

Now, i have crossed the 3rd month and i am in the Zero Stick a day timeline now and will be for the next 5 months. I thought I would be experiencing anxiety, not because I want to smoke but could not, but because I don't have that option to smoke anymore when i want to. So far the anxiety attacks have not crept in. Ok, a little bit probably, but not really so much that I got restless as i imagined.

To be honest, I get tempted and at one point yesterday I even asked a collegue if i can take a puff....after getting enough sniffing the smoke from his cigarette.

(Don't worry Ariel...Chintan did not let me...By the way, I think Cigars are not included in the deal right?...Can i get that clarified please!)


So on with my 7 month struggle, mid-February is still far from today, but I think I can get there...smoke free!

Struggles of a Chronic Smoker - 30 days out, 180 days to go

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Today, i conclude the first month of a 7-month deal to quit smoking.

The deal which i agreed with my colleague Ariel, is a gradual process of making me permanently kick off a 21 year old habit of smoking.

Condition for the first month was a maximum quota of 3 sticks of cigarettes a day, which I have passed with flying colors averaging 2 sticks a day for 5 days in a week. I have managed not to smoke at all on weekends in the last 30 days. I believe it's quite a feat. But of course I was also aided by fate and by my frail health, having been sidelined for a week due to flu and cough, which all the more made the thought of smoking undesirable. When you are coughing like hell and your throat is burning, smoking is probably the last thing you desire.

I am celebrating not only because i have managed to cut down my smoking drastically, but also because I have survived the first tier of penalty that the deal imposes if i violated the 3 sticks a day condition. If i did, I would have lost a new IPhone 3GS and a thousand dollars to a worthy charitable institution.

Now I am in my second month in the deal. I am down to 1 cigarette a day quota. This will be the harder part and I am hoping i will survive this in a breeze, just like I did in the past 30 days. Else, i would have to give up the IPhone and pay up 800 dollars to a charitable institution. Not that I can't give up an IPhone or don't want to donate to the needy. I am no quitter (no pun intended!). I hate losing a bet, especially if its about a commitment to a better health and probably a smoking free future.

As the old Zen Master says in the movie Charlie Wilson's War, "We shall see..."

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Smoking - When You Say You Want to Quit

As far as i can remember, I have been smoking since i was about 14 years old. I probably started too early but whether it is good or bad, i have actually got into that habit gradually.

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It is not that i started smoking packs of cigarettes that early. At that time, it was just experimenting with any cigarette i can steal from Papa's Hope menthol pack or any cigarette that some 'cool' friends would have in school.

But its been 21 years now, and the amount of tobacco i have smoked, excluding the cigars i have smoked in between' would have amounted to a truckload of tobacco by now.

How many times in the past did i ever get into a conversation with friends who tried convincing me that quitting means potentially avoiding a debilitating cancer that can cripple me for life. Wouldn't it be good for your kids? (hell, yeah!)



Or having a conversation that goes like this. "If one day God appear in front of you and say that one more cigarette you smoke would mean you will lose your kids? Would you quit?" And i would always say, "Of course, what kind of father in his right mind would not. But would God really appear in front of me and say that?" (The gall of a smoker can extend to blasphemy, i tell you!)

But then these conversations and the fear of the consequences of long term smoking never really sink in. There is just no will and real determination on my part to take it seriously. But did i ever think for a second that what if i actually get cancer for my years of smoking. What happens now with my life, my family, and my kids?

Of course, I do get scared. But again I have always chosen to forget about it and assured that my genes are far superior than most smokers who get cancer from smoking, taking on from the ages most of my ancestors have reached before they expired. From both sides, my grandparents have died in their late 80s and 90s. My maternal grandmother died at 99. I don't know though whether they smoked or not. :-)

There are days that I think of the consequences of my smoking. And I tell you, these would fleetingly scare me out of my wits but just like as always i have always gone back to the habit of smoking.

I don't consider myself an addict. I don't really feel any palpitation or uneasiness if i don't get to smoke when i want to. I believe i am not, by the number of cigarettes i smoke on a daily basis, which is about 5-7 sticks, i don't think I am.

But i think i am (sorry for the contradictions, maybe the years of smoking have totally fucked up my logic), considering i have not really kicked the habit in the last 21 years (well, i hope i am making sense now!).

I can't remember how many times I have tried quitting and failed.

Now I am back to trying to quit again. I am doing it gradually though, but this time i have cornered myself by putting an expensive stake if i fail again.

This one will cost me a thousand bucks and an I-Phone, courtesy of a good friend and colleague, who is hell bent in saving my wretched life from smoking, for all its worth. Let me see what happens in the next 6 months. If i get to write about it regularly in the next 6 months, I am probably surviving and is seriously internalizing the shame of smoking.

You know what would be easier for all smokers? Just an idea, why doesn't the Singapore Government just ban smoking in the entire Island Republic.

The Thing called Social Media for Operators

Most telco CxOs nowadays will have a fair understanding of what social media is and how it has pervaded the industry and its consumers (and even enterprise clients).

Wikipedia defines it as ..." Social media is online content created by people using highly accessible and scalable publishing technologies. At its most basic sense, social media is a shift in how people discover, read and share news, information and content. It's a fusion of sociology and technology, transforming monologues (one to many) into dialogues (many to many) and is the democratization of information, transforming people from content readers into publishers. Social media has become extremely popular because it allows people to connect in the online world to form relationships for personal, political and business use. Businesses also refer to social media as user-generated content (UGC) or consumer-generated media (CGM)."



Not a lot of emerging market telco CxOs though understand how it works and appreciate the power it can wield for them if leveraged well. There are a few operators in SEA region which are progressive enough to have started some shapes and forms of social media in engaging their customers. But exemplary success apart from what has been seen with CyWorld, which was bought by SK Telecom later, has been rare.

Over the years, the likes of Singtel with its Moblog (www.moblog.com.sg)and Maxis with its MBlog (www.mblog.com.my)were among the first in the region to venture into mobile social networking. However, from the looks of how they have managed and supported these communities, it seemed like they are completely amiss on its potential and how it could have given them enough equity among netizen subscribers in the last 4-5 years since they introduced these mobile social networking communities.

It's sad that Singtel and Maxis have wasted years of potential lead in this space in that they have simply allowed their communities of subscribers to wilt away. Singtel has recently announced in its MoBlog site that it is closing down the service on July 22. MBlog continues to be the same boring site to date when i start profiling the site some 3 years back.

These operator-led mobile social networks used to be the shining examples of progressiveness in the social media space or what some call as user generated content (UGC) space. Funny that while every other operator in the region are scrambling for resources and expertise on how to launch their own social media sites, these 2 operators seem to be abandoning what they pioneered, years ahead of their competition.

I know of operators in the regions right now which are seriously studying or even close to launching their own social media efforts. In Thailand, I know of an operator who recently launched their own UGC trading community about a year back. Though the community has not prospered yet, I do believe that with proper focus on execution and alignment to the overall business strategy and the support it requires to build the community, it should be on its way of getting a critical mass of participants.

Telcos have to understand that a foray into the social media will not give short term ROI like any tactical marketing program. Building communities don't happen overnight. Stars like Facebook and Linkedin did not become popular overnight. It takes years to build the community, but if you succeed, you don't need much of an ATL budget to spend. You will have millions of ambassadors doing the marketing for you.

So how can operators leverage the social media trend?

Operators need to understand that the consumer should be at the center of things in providing social media environment. In social media, content is from consumers not from operators. Consumers are the new creators, opinion makers, networkers, and distributors of this new space.

Hence, operators cannot rely anymore from their own marketing messages and product brochures to keep the community members engaged. They have to depend on activist community members and early adopters to market the community and encourage content contribution from other members.

What this means is that the community has to be open.

1) Open means no restrictions on how to join or log in
2) Open means providing various access like mobile internet, mobile SMS short codes, in addition to fixed internet
3) Open means being able to create, upload, share and trade any content from any terminal PC or mobile
4) Open means anyone can join and access the communities, not only my subscribers but also other operators' subscribers.

Walled garden and restricted access approaches that place limitations on consumers will no longer work if you want your social media community to prosper.

At the heart of all social media efforts, operators will need a separate social media strategy to be able to fully leverage the power of the communities it can bring in.

This strategy has to take into account these five (5) important social media ideas.

1) Offer environments for consumers to create, store, and manage their digital identities at various levels ensuring wherever the consumers go, they still rely and route through the environment.
2) Revise marketing strategy to leverage ‘Viral Marketing’ and ‘Tryvertising’
3) Harness social networking by building own networks around localized motivations and embedding these into larger global social networks (e.g. Facebook, MySpace etc.)
4) Enable user generated content (UGC) via tools and platforms with rewarding mechanisms to drive quality to ward off reliance on content provision agencies.
5) Revise portal strategy – ‘Me’ portal that enables consumers to project outwards embedded onto ‘My’ portal that assimilates what the consumer is interested in.

Operators need to play the social media game today to ensure they are still in business tomorrow. The social media technologies are readily available and easily implementable. The issues are not implementation but conceptualization.

The revenue potential of social media will depend on the monetization model based on :
1) Scale of consumer traffic
2) Level of (potential) addictiveness (to service)
3) Offerings on personalization, UGC, social network and other add on services for utilities and entertainment purpose.

The speed of realization will depend on :
1) Level of mobile, internet, and Web 2.0 familiarity (such as usage of blog, social network, media sharing)
2) Identification of a strong early adopter group that can help hasten take up

Putting the consumers at the center however, may put the operator on the periphery. Why not? Part of leveraging the social media trend is letting go. Specifically with respect to communities, operators will need to contend with :

1) Lack of control over the evolution of networks and applications that communities initiate
2) Users who will wield more influence over communities, individuals, and transactions than operators can
3) Outside applications that will find their way in via consumers

Operators will also need to develop an understanding of local context outside their business – communities and activities will be centered around interests, needs, and affiliations, not the operator. Most importantly, operators will need to be agile and aware enough to follow trends in the community to revise their offering and possibly brand positioning.

You can download a whitepaper around this topic co-written by this author with Chintan Rastogi at www.redpillsolutions.com.

Compass

I was having a casual chat with a colleague over lunch one day, when he popped this question.

"Have you always been aware of what you want to do with your career since you started work?"

I paused a moment and for a few seconds, i debated in my head whether should the question be - do I actually know what I want to do in life? instead of the one he asked. Then, I acquiesced by pointing out that it was only about 5 years ago did I actually start convincing myself what i want to have in life, but not really about what to do in between that end point and then.

My point being is that I know now what i want to posses towards mid-life (50s please). It's actually 3 things or 3 basic states for that matter (nothing spectacular really!). One state is when my 2 kids have finished their chosen degrees from an Ivy League school and provided for them a comfortable headstart in making it on their own. Second being having expanded my existing retail businesses and successfully operating these. The third being, my wife and I possessing enough wealth to live our remaining lives comfortably in the suburbs of Manila near an owned-farm of fruit-bearing trees and being able to travel overseas for leisure every other month.

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How am i going to get to that state is one thing that i am unsure.

I was reflecting and sharing with my colleague that in the years that I have worked, especially with that bank that i worked for the longest time, I never really had that burning desire about becoming the next CEO in X number of years or setting a target of how much money i should be getting in X number of months. It is not that i did not have any ambition for upward mobility then, but it was an assumption of mine that I will progress naturally if i do my job well. Whether I get to the next position or not is not a matter of objective, but a matter of consequence.

Well, i was of course wrong. Corporate life was not necessarily a bed of roses. As they said, sometimes the road to hell are paved with good intentions.

In this recent year, I have come to realize that i am increasingly becoming fixated with going back to the telecom industry that while it is not the end all and be all of the things that i want in life, it is for me a critical milestone in my journey between now and the end states i want to achieve in my life. Hence, for a particular job and position in this domain, it is now a matter of objective and deep desire.

How i have been planning to get there in the last 6 months has been a journey of disappointments and relief. So far, I have managed to stay the course in consulting, and have been able focus on what is needed and expected of me.

I don't know how long still until i am able to make the next step closer to what i want. In fact, the roads are right in front of me, while i wallow in convenient state of indecision.

As always, I am unsure on what road to take, consciously aware that the path i am thinking may not necessarily the only path towards my goal.

My Mom's Legacy

Here is a beautiful prose about lessons in life passed on by Leona Rubio Miranda, my grandmother, to her son, my uncle, Gilberto Miranda, who decided to share it with friends and loved ones.



My Mom’s Legacy
By Gil R. Miranda


To plants and animals including human beings, life has three directions— survival, reproduction and death. To survive, find a mate, reproduce seeds for plants, and raise a brood for animals and humans, and even in dying, one has to face countless difficulties. It is a dilemma. One needs to accept and understand that life is full of problems because problem itself is life and life is a problem. Life is meaningless without problems. Problems would not exist without life.

People earn their living because they solve other people’s problems. Lawyers find solutions to legal problems. Farmers resolve food problems. Engineers settle engineering problems. Teachers unravel education problems. One sorts out other people’s problems according to one’s forte or discipline.

As people earns from other people’s problems, they spend these earnings to solve their own. To survive, men need to provide themselves food, clothing, and shelter. Other than that, they provide their children with education, so that they may have a better chance of survival in the future. It is a continuing cycle of earning and spending hooked on a chain linked with problems.

Survival stirs up competition. The struggle makes man acquisitive. The phenomenon is rare to plants but is also common to a few species of mammals and insects. A few known species of plants and animals also hoard, but few become greedy. Human acquisitiveness turns to avarice, which complicates the problem all the more. That is why we seek social status, a place under the sun, recognition, and influence. These complicate our problems. We yearn for lavish foods, an extravagant house in a plush neighborhood, a more luxurious car and amass properties as much as we can. Yet, everyday, we mutter about problems. We mutter about the thorns that lay on the road going to our desired destination.

It is innate amongst living things to reproduce. Thus, looking for a perfect mate is an instinctual grapple. Living things has to show off their intrinsic good looks, strength, skills, intellect, etc. The point is not only to find the finest to help us disperse our inheritable factors, but to produce perfect children and assure that our genealogical seeds will survive a world only the fittest could endure. At times though, the process goes wayward. It boosts the human being’s own sense of self-importance. Some gifted persons, or those who believe they are, become conceited egotists. Consequently, the effort to solve a problem develops another. The adage probes itself, “There is always a solution to a problem as there always is a problem in every solution.”

Death to plants and animals may be unceremonious. Most humans however, wish to face this final act appropriately, marked with dignity and serenity. Some wish for immortality. People want other people to remember him. Eternal life may not be physically possible but somebody’s memory can live on. Life is a tussle, a brawl, but one has to strive to continue living on. We have to face an endless wave of problems to achieve another problem. When problems end, life ends.

Life is seemingly simple. Yet, once you dig deep into its labyrinth, it becomes more and more complicated. Someone who has gone through life earlier than us could give us roadmaps of the favorable route in the maze of life’s struggle. My mother left some. I thought I should share them with my children and anyone who may find it useful.

Keep your head down. — When you look up, you see things that are difficult to reach. Your attention focus on people with better paying jobs, elegant homes, nicer cars, etc. Look down and you will appreciate life more. You will be happier to know that your life is better than the others rather than having the worst.

If you love the things that you do, you never work at all. — A business executive would go fishing and enjoy it. For him it is a hobby. To a fisherman it is a job. If you will learn to treat your job a hobby, you will not work all your life.

Changing jobs, careers or business.— If you think you should quit your job, which you once wanted so much, got after scanning hundreds of want ad pages, grueling exams, and several exhausting interviews, do not change your job… change your attitude. (My mother always reminds me, “A rolling stone, gathers no moss.”)

Friendly relations — when you quarrel with a friend once, something must be wrong with your friend. When you quarrel with the same friend twice, think again, something must be wrong with either you or your friend. When you quarrel with the same friend for the third time…something is wrong with you.

Life has no pause, stop, or rewind buttons. It does not have a fast forward button either— Life runs incessantly. It is unstoppable. It is not the problems of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets of yesterday, which one cannot redirect, and the fear of the future, which one cannot preview. Except for the lessons that the past brings, forget every yesterdays. Leave all despair on the way and travel towards each tomorrow with fresh hopes.

Most of your worries do not happen. — Many people shake away opportunities and fail to achieve lifetime dreams because of worries that do not always happen. Brave men who ignore obstacles succeed. Coward people who worry does not dare— they fail. Remember that fear is only imaginary.

Most people want to help. They are only waiting for you to ask for it. — Sometimes, we need help, but we do not ask, because we fear rejection. Most people are gracious and compassionate. They just do not offer their assistance because they fear rejection too.

Be generous with praises. — Everyone welcomes words of admiration. Praise is a necessary tool in a polite society. One who generously uses it gains more friends. Like a rider’s whip, its use is necessary to make a horse run faster.

Dreams do not stay in one place— Dreams are mobile. It moves as fast as you reach for it. Dreams are illusions. Like a rainbow, it either changes its position or runs away as you get near it.

When in panic, press the button. — When something goes wrong in the bathroom, you call a plumber. When something is wrong with your car, you see a mechanic. When you are in pain, you visit your doctor. When everything seems to be wrong call God, He is only a prayer away from you.

Day 3 of Amazing Busuanga

We started the day early. At 630am we scaled the 700 plus steps to Mt. Tapyas (Tapyas literally means carved - so its called the Carved Mountain). The view is breathtaking! Mt. Tapyas has a giant lighted Cross on its peak, serving both as beacon for boatmen at night time as well as one of major tourist destinations of the municipality. It was a big pain scaling those 700 plus steps! I tried counting but i lost count trying to catch my breath. At the top, Mt.Tapyas offers an awe-inspiring panoramic 180 degree view of the Busuanga islands. The scenic nature view is so fantastic that you would want to make a realist mural painting of it and put it up in some lobby of a hotel.

After a 15 minute break at the top panting for air and forcing smiles for memoir photos of Busuanga in between breaths, we went down the 700 steps thankful to a vendor who was selling bottled water at the 350th step. I guess he knows when the real thirst kicks in for tourists who scale Mt.Tapyas.

Upon reaching Coron Village Lodge, Dexter, our tour guide has packed our breakfast meals and raring to go. Finally, we are going to Malcapuya Island.

It was a 1.5 hours boat ride and this time we used a bigger motorboat so we can move swifter across the hypnotic waves of the Palawan seas. It was a fun ride, and Malcapuya is one of the farther islands from the Coron town proper and it is really an effort to reach it.

Dexter did not disappoint us. Malcapuya is truly an awesome island! Fine white sands! Well not truly close to the Boracay white and fine sands, but the place in its pristine state provides a most appealing factor.

What was more amazing is the Giant Clam show treat underwater. Just a few meters away from the shore, you can snorkel and experience an upclose visual treat of live Giant Clams.

The tour guide was explaining that the Giant Clams are protected by the local authorities because they are decades old and will be worth more money as a tourist attraction than for eating :-). Indeed, he was right, the Giant Clams were very nice to look at and my wife and I can literally stay afloat for minutes in snorkels gawking at them intermittently moving like giants' mouths.

Towards the afternoon, my wife and I walked around the beach area and we saw uniquely formed sand and rock formations. They were very nice, and at that instant you wonder how they even got formed that way.

Both were amazing creations, but while the first is quickly created and destroyed by the daily high and low water ebbing tides, the latter took few scores to form into its unique forms.

As we left, Malcapuya Island I knew in my heart that i will not probably see the place in a long time, hoping that somehow when and if I do again and when the kids have grown up, Malcapuya, and the entirety of the Busuanga Islands remain as pristine as it is yet today.

We celebrated our new discoveries that night as my wife, my sisters-in-law, Aileen and Au, who happens to celebrate her birthday that day (June 3) as well, and my brother-in-law Gerry, gather around with San Mig Light to quench our thirst...thankful as well that Mama insisted that we take the time out as a family as her birthday gift, else we would not have seen a beautiful place like Busuanga (http://wikitravel.org/en/Busuanga).

A few more days, it will be back to reality...

Day 2 of Amazing Busuanga

Day 2 was a sluggish one. We woke up early at around 530am, but had to wait for the breakfast to be served at 730am as the Lodge's employees only come to work at 7am. We were supposed to leave early for Malcapuya Island, a beach area famous for its protected clams for snorkeling adventure and long stretch of white sand beach front.

Rather than sulk, i just read mails from office :-).

So finally, we were able to leave by 830am for Malcapuya Island. But it was not meant to be, before we reach halfway of our destination, the waves indicated that it will not take an hour of motorboat trip instead some 2 plus hours. Buds and Reynante, our nice Cuyonen boatmen, advised that it might not be safe to proceed with the size of their motorboat.

So we turned back and headed for the Banol Beach. It was a blessing in disguise. Banol Beach is a nice and easy place to swim and have fun with the kids, while having some private lunch of nicely cooked Cusido (a type of delicacy - can't remember the kind of fish - cooked in calamansi,string beans and lady finger) and grilled pork chop, and having ripe Mangos for desserts.

After lunch, we went back to Twin Lagoon, this time it's low tide. We went to the other side through the underwater cave and this time, no cuts from the jagged walls given the water level allowed a comfortable swim towards the other side of the Lagoon. This lagoon is quite popular, Dexter, our Cuyonen guide, said. It's almost a standard destination with every batch of tourist going to Coron. True enough, we found ourselves with some 20 other tourists who were already on the other side, gleefully romping in the deep waters of the enclosed lagoon. We stayed for a while and enjoy the scenery around the enclosed lagoon. An hour after, we headed for the Siete Pecados - a preserved marine park famous for snorkeling of scenic corals.

Siete Pecados - This marine park is an extravagant show of multi-colored and multi-shaped live corals. I managed to take pictures of the awesome corals with my sister-in-law's underwater digital camera, and you will be floored by the beauty of these underwater sea creatures exude. First time in my life that i ever got close to almost touching distance to these creatures, which i have only seen in shows like Discovery Channel and National Geographic. I tell you it is one of those experiences I will never forget.

Day 1 of Amazing Busuanga

We landed at the Busuanga airport at around 11am of June 1, with the weather threatening to get worse. After 15 minutes of hovering in the air, the pilot managed to land the plane at the airport, to the relief of some 50 people who were just too excited to taste the raw beauty of Busuanga islands.

After we landed, a transport service from the Coron Village Lodge brought us at the hotel for a sumptous lunch at the hotel's simple yet appropriately set up bamboo-motiffed restaurant. We were given about an hour by the tour guide, Dexter, to unpack and get ready to see the virgin locations that the people of Busuanga, the Cuyonens, are all too proud about.

We ride a motorboat at around 230pm. Two nice Cuyonens - Buds and Reynante have been tasked to ferry us around Busuanga in the next 3 days. Cuyonens, as i have observed, are sincerely nice and really proud when showing off the beauty their home has to offer. Rightfully so, I agree.

It is such a joy to see a pristine place like Busuanga. Day 1 in Coron (town or municipality located in the Busuanga Islands in Palawan province in the Philippines) is such a blast that I can't find the right expressions of awe evoked by the virgin locations we have been to, just in Day 1.

Our first destination was the Atuwayan beach and the snorkeling was liberating. Then, we went on to see the Twin Lagoon and for the first time, I have seen and experienced diving in an underwater cave bounded by razor sharped stone walls that gave me nasty cuts in some of my fingers just by touching them.

Afterwards, we went to the very serene Cayangan Lake, supposed to be a sacred lake maintained by the local Tagbanua tribe - a more than 1000-year and still existing indigenous tribe that preceded even the waves of Aetas, Malays, and Indonesian immigrants to the archipelago. Only that getting there requires scaling some 200 hundred step mountain footpath that goes up and down, requiring me and my brother-in-law to carry my son Cobi, half of the way. My legs nearly buckled down more than once, both from Cobi's weight and mud-slippery steps.

Cayangan Lake is such a clean lake that you can see the bottom at 14 meters deep. The water is amazingly clear. Dexter, the tour guide said it has been officially acclaimed as one of the world's 'cleanest lakes' in the last 3 years, having been consistently proven by biologists for its cleanliness comparable with similar places across the world. I have to believed it when i actually swam in it. Awesome lake indeed!

We capped the day by going to another amazing place - a seawater hot spring, the Makinit Hot Spring. Wow, it was such a joy to dip in it and soothe your aching muscles after having been flexed pre-maturely swimming and diving a few hours ago.

We headed back to the Coron Village Lodge at around 7pm, and after another sumptous dinner of tasty crabs and beef soup, we retired to bed. Of course, I had to see some 100 emails from the office that made me guilty for a moment. But after realizing how much i would have missed if i did not go with the family to this holiday, I would not exchange this experience for anything my colleagues in Singapore can offer :-). I knew deep in my heart that my wife and kids are proud i made the right choice on this one.

Got to go now, breakfast is waiting. I don't like the Longaniza (grounded meat made into sausage - a Filipino breakfast delicacy) and the Danggit (a dried small fish, which is best eaten fried with fried rice during breakfast) getting cold on me....

It's Day 2 of my Busuanga holiday!

Happy Episode 2

My good friend's son is home after spending the first 55 grueling days of his life in an incubator and in tubes. It is a miracle indeed.

His son is now with his family 24 hours a day, having been cooped alone for almost 2 months in an incubator in the company of only nurses and doctors, due to limited visitation times in the hospital.

Accordingly, my friend's son is actively responding to the sounds and sights of his loving parents who are just so overjoyed to be reunited with him in the comfort of their home.

Happy news indeed.

Consulting

Being in the management consulting industry is exciting and perpetually stimulating. You never run out of opportunities to learn and be at the forefront of ground breaking insights. The works give you both the motivation and rewards to seek for new information and innovations so that you can add real value to clients.

However, it becomes tiring and draining once you stop learning new things and become stuck with intellectual masturbation. Well, some may argue that it depends on how you see learning and what sort of things define learning (pardon my self argumentation - it becomes a habit when you have stayed long enough in this industry).

I specialize in telecom and while I enjoy the constant search for new ideas in social media and perpetual distillation of emerging business models, I hate the part when you have to sit and create pre-sales decks to clients who never seem to get tired of asking for proposals. The hateful part of this process is when you keep on finding ways of saying the same thing in a different way to the same client who can't seem to figure out what he wants.

I miss the days when I use to do delivery. While it is tiring and pressure-packed to manage a project, it is fulfilling in a sense that there is real engagement and application of ideas. You may not be learning ground-breaking ideas but you do get to bring YOUR ideas to the table of those who can make them happen.

Today is just one of those days when consulting feels tiring and draining.

Happy Episode

A few weeks back, i wrote about a friend couple whose son was born premature with some complications that even the best doctors in Singapore have almost given up trying to find a solution to his condition.

For a while, it seems like the couple was just waiting for the inevitable. Miraculously though, their son has recovered and now he is out of the ICU. Now the baby is slowly gaining weight and can already drink milk from the bottle.

Things like these miracles make me smile, and believe even more that the Universe truly conspires to make things happen.

Work and a new home

By Raul and Sarah Alicaway

(let me have the liberty of re-publising a story written by a good friend who recently migrated to Canada - original article published in www.canadianimmigrant.ca)

Leaving Manila on the last eligible day of our visa — and landing in Toronto just about an hour before our visas did, in fact, expire — gave us the jitters as we journeyed to Canada. Our two kids, JC and Migs, never knew the risk we faced of being immediately asked to travel back to Manila.

At the Lester B. Pearson International Airport, we finally relaxed as we were warmly welcomed by the Bolivars, family friends who selflessly accommodated us for almost a month in their home.

But, after landing, we didn’t waste any time. Three days after arriving, we were already attending a downtown seminar about Canadian accounting designations sponsored by the Association of Filipino-Canadian Accountants (AFCA). We had business, banking and accounting backgrounds in the Philippines.

Within our first month in Toronto, we were blessed to have secured confirmed job offers in our respective fields — I as an officer in one of Canada’s banking giants and Sarah as an accounting technician in an accounting firm (she was referred by an AFCA member).

In due time, we moved to a safe and nice community close to everything — subway station, bus stations, church, school for the kids, public library, community centre, family doctor’s clinic, grocery stores, Filipino store, Fairview Mall (which has lots of everything!) and lush parks and greenery. Early on, we already felt our decision to come to Canada was a rewarding one, even though we had had many doubts prior to boarding the plane in Manila.

We are thankful for God’s provision to our family. Just eight months down the road, I became a manager for GTA branch operations at ICICI Bank Canada and Sarah became a senior accountant at Weinberg & Gaspirc, Chartered Accountants.

We’ve both also been blessed on the education front: I took the International Accounting and Finance Professionals (IAFP) Program at Ryerson University and have qualified for the certified management accountant (CMA) accelerated program; Sarah has been granted 50 out of 51 credit hours in her pursuit of the chartered accountant (CA) designation at the same time being granted 14 out of 15 maximum allowable transfer credits in the certified general accountant (CGA) program.

Our kids are also adjusting fast in the Canadian school system, with JC always landing on the honour roll and Migs having lots of friends across many nationalities and cultures.
Paying forward, we have humbly opened our simple home in at least two instances to friends and their families, helping them with their initial stay in Toronto.

As what the Bolivars did for us, we also guided them on what to do during their initial days, from applying for a SIN card, opening a bank account, looking for an apartment, applying for phone lines, getting familiar with transport systems and Toronto maps, and more!

As our story shows, a little help and a smooth beginning can make all the difference in your journey to Canada.

Jolly Frog

I came across this new Filipino food place along Neil Road in China Town called Jolly Frog. It's right below the PSG Asia office, right across a parking lot and a stone throw away from the offices of Ebay, Skype, and Paypal . It is a nice and decent place actually.

Well, the food wasn't that great, but the entire dining area is clean and comfortable. My colleagues and I had a peaceful and relax lunch.

The food lay out is the 'turo-turo' (literally 'finger pointing' i.e. you can point any food and mix and match as you like and the waiter will serve it to you in a plate) style in canteens or SM Malls' foodcourts back home. That day there were a few popular Filipino dishes like Tinola (Chicken boiled with Chayote,'Siling Labuyo' leaves -a type of chili,- and ginger, and spiced up with 'Patis' or fish sauce), Beef Steak, Pinakbet (ground meat boiled with an assortment of vegetables like squash, string beans, and bitter gourd spiced with 'Bagoong' or preserved anchovies), and some more.

My colleagues were not so impressed though with the dishes' taste. Even I, felt I have tasted better versions of those before. Well, there is always room for improvement. I guess the place has newly opened and certainly I hope, the owner is seeking feedback from patrons.

When I say peaceful, I mean this place is bereft of the typical noisy chatter one experiences in most Hawkers here in Singapore. Its relaxing in a sense that you don't find people milling around your table waiting like hawks for you to finish dining. The place is neatly painted white and adorned with a couple of decent paintings.

What is most commendable however is the display of the courteous brand of service by Filipinas who run the place. It is the beautiful and warm smile that sincerely conveys the willingness to serve and make you feel you are valued as a customer. My colleagues of course, expected no less, having known from their own experiences of Pinoys, how we are hospitable and courteous in our ways. Luckily, my countrywomen did not disappoint them.

Ironically, it was an Indian colleague who recommended to me the place. Tired of gorging the same kind of delicacies from Hawkers near our office day in day out, it was a pleasant surprise to find a Filipino food place in China Town. It was a nice respite from the 'chicken and char siew rice' for a change.

It was a nice excuse for me too to give my colleagues a perspective to 'Filipino dishes'. A few of my friends have asked where else can they find places to eat Filipino dish in Singapore. To which I mentioned 7,107 Flavours at Marina Square (where I have not been to yet, but heard so much from Pinoy friends the past year), and a few stalls in the historic Lau Pa Sat along Robinson Road like Ka Roger, Panyeros, and Jolly V.

I hope I will not disappoint them with 7,107 Flavours as I heard it's quite pricey compared to your usual dining place. Let me visit it one of these days and see for myself if the price is worth the dine. :-)

Why do bad things happen...

Sad stories.

I spoke to my good friend yesterday. He told me about the sad news about the condition of his baby boy in the hospital and how the situation has turned for the worse. I could not say a thing. There is not much to say to someone who is already in tremendous grief and for whom you cannot do anything to alleviate his sadness.

I cannot say 'i understand' or 'i know how you feel' as no one will ever know how a father feels nor understand what he is going through, when he stands to lose his infant son, due to a condition not even the best doctors in Singapore can solve.

I can only commiserate in silence. I remember pondering about this question for several years now. Why do bad things happen to good people? I still could not fathom the answer, and maybe i will never be able to.

When my brother was murdered a year ago by people who until now have never been brought to justice, i felt hatred. Hatred for unnamed and faceless criminals who i cannot understand why they do these things. My brother did not deserve his fate. He was a good father and a loyal employee of a bank, who happened to be the target of a bank heist, that left all of the bank's employees brutally butchered.

I asked then, why do bad things happen to good people?

Today I spoke to my mom back home. She is worried about my sister, who has been abused for years by her insane husband. There was again an incident where my sister's asshole for a husband threatened to hit her and abused her verbally. Good thing my elder brother has been watching out for her recently, and can now at least bring some sense to my brother-in-law's insane head that if anything happens to our sister, he will have to pay dearly with his life.

My sister is a good mother and good provider to her three kids. She earns her own and can easily fend for herself and the kids all by herself. She and her kids do not deserve her husband. She is a good person and her kids are a promising intelligent brood that i see a bright future ahead. It brings me deep and terrible pain that they have to go through this in life.

But why do things like these happen to people who don't deserve it?

There is just so much pain and grief.

Why not write about telecom and banking stuff?

A friend once asked me. Why don't you write about telecom and banking stuff in your blog? With the years of experience i have in these domains, the projects and markets i have been exposed to, and clients i have worked with, there is so much to write about. I agree, and may be i can say as much.

For a moment, I wondered why. But i guess the reason is that i don't need and feel like adding to the clutter of intellectual stuff out there already about telecom and banking. I am not out to say any new stuff anyway as I feel i will just be regurgitating similar thoughts that are already being discussed in blogs like technorati, bobstumpel.blogspot, and mashable. For these things I want to be the reader, not the writer. I am not going to learn more by writing more about what i already know.

When I started writing blogs in 2006, using my friendster blog Normandy Chronicles, all i wanted is to write about my thoughts, feelings, and personal experiences, more like as I would in a diary or journal. Then, I extremely missed my collegiate days when i used to write a lot about anything and everything any curious student of my time was probably wondering about. I wanted that peace and freedom to write about these things, when i created my first blog.

I still wanted that freedom now. I don't want to write so as to invite dialogue or a discussion on a telecom or banking innovation or about a new way of engaging customers. I can do that in the course of my consulting profession, but someone needs to pay for my time. I want to write in this blog, because its simply an expression of what i feel, and I don't need anyone to react.

One might say that, why then do you write in a public domain like the web and a blogsite for that matter, where people can and might read it, and hence, react? I have no issue with people reacting. It's not just the intention in the first place. Why don't I write in a private diary or journal? Its convenient for me. It's in the web and if ever I need to share it with somebody, i can do so with ease.

However, there are limitations. I can't write so much about private things which might compromise me or anyone else i might be writing about. I actually can but I may not, because i also don't want to solicit unnecessary reactions or comments and exposed myself to an extent that anyone can use stuff against me.

In sum, I just want to write because I want a medium for a one way personal expression. Nothing else. If you want to know what I know about telecom and banking, email or call me. Maybe we can discuss and I can share with you the things that I know.

When life is at stake

This morning at dawn I got a call from a good friend of mine. I learned that she just gave birth prematurely to her son last Friday and that there were some challenges that her baby has to hurdle to get past the danger zone. She was distressed and asked me to call my best friend, who is her husband, fearing for his welfare having been through sleepless night since Friday getting through this unexpected ordeal.

My wife and I reflected on what is happening and felt sad that it has to happen twice to them. Their first born, who is now 8 years old, was also born premature and had to struggle too when he was a baby, to survive. Now, it has happened again with their second born.

We reflected at our own time with our first born, who was also born premature at almost 7 months. He too had to go through a lot. He spent his first 18 days of his life in an incubator and he had to go through 4 years of tedious therapies just to get him up to speed with his age peers. He is fine now, celebrating his 8th birthday today and adequately coping up with mainstream school here in Singapore.

I can feel the pain of my friend as he recounted the last 3 days on what his wife and baby have been going through in the hospital. Not to mention the costly medical bills that have been racking up since Friday. In essence, what he says is that in spite of the superior medical support here in Singapore and the successful operation of a life threatening clot, his baby's chance of survival depends largely on his (baby son's) will to survive, which for the love of God, has been positive & strong so far.

There is nothing one can do except to say hold on and believe that things will be better. When it is life, especially if it's the life of your own flesh and blood, that is at stake, you have to believe that the tide will turn in your favor.

A few minutes back, I just called another friend, and told him about the ordeal of our friend, who is his first cousin. He too was shocked and had nothing to say. We knew that there is nothing one can do except to commiserate and say a prayer for our friend's son.

When a life is at stake, you can only turn to prayers for solace, and hopefully salvation.

Pay It Forward

Amazing how inspiring this movie is. I have not seen it in a long time. Watching it again in HBO Family seems to reinforce that in this world of desperation and seeming helplessness with what the future holds, there are more important things that you can do to make a difference in your life and in others.

I would want to get hold of the novel of the same title by Catherine Ryan Hyde, from which the movie was based upon. Actually, I just found out that this author actually established a foundation in September 2000 about this idea, and named it the Pay It Forward Foundation (www.payitforwardfoundation.org). Its mission is 'to educate and inspire students to realize that they can change the world, and provide them with opportunities to do so.'

Seriously. Sans the drama of most Hollywood films, Pay It Forward is a movie with a solid moral plot. Pay It Forward is a powerful idea and can be a life philosophy in itself. It may sound condescending or cliche for most people who might think its too inane and trivial, when there are a lot of other things you can do or you should be concerned about in this world... hunger, oppression, racism...

If you agree with this kind of people, you are totally missing the point. Pay It Forward is an idea on a way to live life. It is an option, a method on how you choose to be concerned (and act) with what --- personal issues, other people's issues, or even political issues.

Its fundamental basis is actually founded upon shared beliefs on reciprocity or the 'Golden Rule' across religions and philosophies in existence for over hundreds of years, in many words, texts, and verses. You will see various forms of these in Christianity, Brahmanisn, Baha'i Faith, Buddhism, Confucianism, etc.

The premise of the Pay It Forward idea is that any person can do it, at any time and at any point in their lives. You begin it by doing a favor for another person-- WITHOUT any expectation of being paid back. Probably, the only request that the one giving the favor may ask from the recipient if asked, is to ask that s/he does a favor for someone else in return : ideally for three other people. The unconditional favors may be anything or nothing of magnitude. It can be substantial or insignificant or large or small. As the 12-year-old Trevor says in the film, "It doesn't have to be a big thing. It can just seem that way, depending who you do it for."

Fundamental rules on what it takes to Pay It Forward:

a. When someone does you a big favor, don't pay it back... Pay It Forward
b. Do others a favor instead - and the favor should be ...

#1 It has to be something that really helps people.
#2 Something they can't do by themselves.

c. I do it for them, they do it for three other people.

My take on this...I can Pay Forward my life ahead.